Will God help my marraige?

read some of my  other posts  to get a better backgreound on my marraige to my husband. I have been everything but timid in details.

God "told" me that this was not the man I was supposed to marry and like we sometimes do, I made a grave decision and now I feel like I am paying the consequences. I feel.

SO my question is even though I disobeyed Him and I have DRASTICALLY repented.
Does that mean that my martraige is doomed to be miserable forever?
IF I ask him to help my marraige get better or to help us get along better, will He answer my prayers?

My husband and I have different views on marraige and communication. He believes that since he is the "man " that he doesnt have to answer to me . In the sense of ie. telling me why he comes home at 3 in the morning and doesnt think that he should have to explain himself.

He is a non believer.


WILL GOD HELP ME???

Kristina,

First, as a community, we want to thank you for sharing a part of your life that is very intimate and delicate.  We commend that you have decided to seek out community at a time like this, because only in community with Christ and with believers can we find the healing and restoration necessary to move forward.  I've actually been following your posts for the last year or so, so I'm fairly familiar with what you've shared with the rest of us.  You have indeed crossed some tough terrain and it's very likely that (I would say a direct reason of) alot of the heartache you and your marriage have endured has to do with the choices you have made.  Now, don't go beat yourself up again, because It's good that you recognize the situation you find yourself in, since we cannot walk out in a certain direction, unless we are cognizant of where we stand. 

So, having said all of this, from what you have shared with us (because I will only try to encourage you from the point of view of what you have publicly shared) lets think about your situation in a different way.  Imagine a small boy, who, facinated by the allure of fire, has decided he will begin to play with matches and candles against his mother's expressed will for him.  Mom has done everything in her power to make sure that these items are not available to her son, but he has, on his own, set out to find and play with matches and candles.  Eventually the small child severly burns his right hand, and runs home to mom for help. 



What do you think the mother's response will be?


If you said that she will love and comfort her child, and provide medical attention for him, then you're right.  Now, let's ask another question:


What about the siuation the child finds himself in?


Let's think about this for a moment.  The child, has come home, and sought the help of his mother.  She has provided her grace and love to him, and even the medical attention he will need, however, just because these things are provided, that still doesn't take away from the fact that the child will be in pain through the healing process. It doesn't remove the fact the healing process will take time, that there may be scarring, or that he will be disciplined for directly disobeying his mother.  In otherwords, the child has to deal with the reality of the situation he finds himself in. 


So, what does this mean for you?


Ok, so you've come home (to the realization that you cannot work this situation out without God)  but now you have to begin to seek the grace and love and physical/spiritual medical attention the situation needs.  Honestly, you've opened the doors to something, that to be quite honest, will be a daunting task.  You have now joined your life with someone who is not a believer, which means this will make your marriage harder on you both, because you are both pulling in different directions, instead of pulling in the same direction.  Ok, so now that I've somewhat verbally "spanked" you, here is the good news.  God is not surprised by your situation.  You haven't done something that has caught God off-guard.  Realize that God is a God of breakthrough and new beginnings.  That the most important and notable characters in the bible were people who tried to do things on their own, failed, and allowed God to restore them into a new future.  Just recognize that new beginnings and a new hope in these situations meant a lot of hard work.  God's grace was provided, but it meant that the people recognize that they were indeed accountable to their situation before God could help them in their situation.  Seems like the frustration and pain you've been going through have brought you to a place where God can beging to work in your life again. 

So, is your marriage doomed to misery forever?  No.  However, now it will take ALOT of prayer, WORK, faith, and grace to move forward (and here is the key) in the PLAN that God has for you now.  Please know we are here for you, and that we believe that God can indeed work miracles through the effort you put forth into your marriage.  I know the odds stand against you, but with God all things are possible, if you believe (and put forth ACTS and WORKS of your faith in His ability to transform your situation).  Just make sure that your faith is in line with his plan for you.  We will all make mistakes, but the point is, make sure you allow Him to lead you, and not the other way around, because God is not a follower. He is God.


Now, I know that there are too many questions not covered here, but I hope this helps you move in the direction the Holy Spirit has for you.  Let us know what we can help you with; We are here for you and your family.

As a women I know how hard it can be to reach out to others especially when your already hurting.  So first let me tell you that Daddy is proud of you and Loves you so much for trying.  To tell you the truth I never get on these forums for alot of reasons but mostly because I have never been called to, however recently my heart and spirit have led me to you.  I am very familiar with your situation, I have been there.  I write to invite you to the women's smallgroup that meets every Thursday at 7:30 pm in Room 4 at Grace.  It is a group for those who are hurting, who need a safe place to get poured into.  Sometimes we make decisions in our life that seem good in the moment but not what God intended.  So here we learn what God has in store for us and what he requires of us.  We build a stronger relationship with him and we try to live his way.  It's tough but with help from God and with friends who are there it makes it a bit easier.  We are not perfect, we are all broken and thats the beauty of it all.  Please Give us a chance, do not let fear keep you from seeking the Lord. 

May God Bless you and know that we are here.
Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and Help you; I will uphold you with my rightous right hand.

Check us out on www.myspace.com/womenofthewell

Your sister in Christ
Carla

The way that I read your first comment was a little coarse, yes. Hence why I stated the problem with typing is that it is sometimes  misconstrewed. I am desperatly seeking christian friends. However in my situation it is very difficult make the time, I work a full time + job. We are jst now moving into a home(that I cannot stand btw) and I am a fulltime mother with no daycare. I just have so many questions to ask about the ways of the Lord, that I think it will do me a lot of good to speak with mature christians. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO START OR WHOM TO ASK?

3 places to start building your circle of Christian friends that are easy and daycare friendly.

monday nights at the Venue.  daycare provided and message is spiritually filling

thursday nights...women's small group- they hold it at the church currently and datcare is provided again.

every other sunday...momorial volleyball at memorial park.  no daycare, but there are normally kids roaming around.  your son can be within earshot of you for security reasons.  you dont have to play volleyball.  most people come just for the fellowship.

1 more thing for you to keep in mind.

last night as i was preparing a study.  i was reading the story on david and bathsheba in 2 samuel 11 thru the end of the book.  david committed adultery and murder.  GOD forgave him but he rebuked him for the actions that he did in a very stern way.  the child born of the adultery didnt live, david's son raped david's daughter, david's son killed his other son, david's son overthrew his kingdom, and he had another uprising from within the kingdom.  these were all consequences of the actions of the adultery/murder.  i am not saying that you did anything on that level, but i am reminding you that just because GOD forgives the actions doesnt mean that HE removes the consequences of the actions.  david endured and was strengthened thru his trials.  Psalms 51 is the beginning of writings regarding his repentance of his actions.  in order for david to receive the true blessings of GOD, he had to humble himself to GOD's will.  if you read 2 samuel 22, you will see david's song of thanksgiving that he gave after GOD delivered him thru his struggles.  notice that GOD did not remove him from the trials, but pulled him thru. 

david prospered and was called a man after GOD's own heart after the sins that he committed because he followed GOD's will.  how will your story unfold?

Carla,

Thank you very much for the invite. I work at the Hardrock Cafe in downtown. The way it works is that if I am one of the top 5 employees who sell the most out of the entire restaurant THAT WEEK, I get to make my own schedule. My manager always schedules me on Thursday nights. I am REALLY trying hard to be top 5 so that I can get off that night. How long do these groups  last? How many girls ? Does everybody meet afterwards/before to eat somewhere or can we bring snack. I believe that Jay said that there was childcare?

I hope everything  goes well.  Thank you for everything.